Things are certainly not what they seem. What we believe to be real is false and what we consider unreal actually contains the truth.
The character we call I, which we defend and protect, is just a self-image through which we present ourselves to the world. This superficial self is neither authentic nor real. Its existence is based on the need to be accepted by others and to feel acceptable to ourselves. It is the result of our conditioning, the sum of ideas we have about ourselves, the learned patterns and defense mechanisms that accompany us since childhood, offering a false sense of protection. It helped us in the past to survive and adapt to the environment with the limited resources we then had, but now only limits and impoverishes our existence.
Becoming an adult has nothing to do with aging. One thing is our biological age and another is our psychological age, our maturity depends on our inner work. We can choose to remain dependent on external authorities which dictate our lives or we can become our own personal authority. To be true to ourselves and stick with our integrity requires courage. To rebel against the norms of society or to negate conforming to the beliefs that our family impose upon us means that we risk being judged and excluded. Freedom has its price though security has it too. Chasing to live protected and secure demands the submission of our free will and our obedience.
Our ability to become aware of our true beings and to remain loyal to our values will make a difference between living a meaningful existence or a meaningless one. It is not so much about what we do or have but about who we are. It is about being, about existing, and for that, there are no recipes or formulas. To mature emotionally requires that we leave our lairs to let ourselves be touched and affected by others. We need to let go of our false idols, our infantile need of certainties, and to relate instead to existence in a dialogue of awareness and attentive listening. When we are true to our essence, we start living exposed to the unpredictable, instead of clinging to the illusion of being in control.
When we are authentic and true to ourselves we remain open and present to the dynamic and creative current of life.
One must not always think so much about what one should do, but rather what one should be.Meister Eckart
I work with individuals and couples seeking to explore their relationships and themselves in an authentic way. Contact me to make an appointment or to attend one of my retreats.